Two coach loads of Fanatics - Skifest 2005 - Tour Review

SKIFEST 2005 was an epic week of drinking, skiing, snowboarding, party nights, huge cash competitions, more drinking and general mayhem.

The adventure started from London with two coach loads of Fanatics embarking on a marathon journey to Risoul in southern France. Along for the ride to keep with the Aussies were some Kiwis, Safas, Poms and one Italian. Barnesy and Co kept everyone going with free shooters down the bus 1. The creativity of marshmallows in vodka working a treat.

An early casualty on the trip was Scott Hastie who managed to miss the coach a French petrol station despite the bus waiting an extra 45 minutes. Penniless in a country speaking a foreign language meant it took Scotty 27 hours to join the rest of group in Risoul.

On arrival we were met by average snow conditions but fortunately the bar conditions were exceptional. This was all despite a foreigner spewing all over the wooden floor. The opening night and Crew Member Treggas birthday meant a huge night for most.

The first morning in the snow the Fanatics woke to a miracle with the first downfall of snow in over 3 weeks. Unfortunately Adrian Thompson had far too much to drink and was found passed out in the snow. Fortunately the French intensive care had him back with the group in a few days although groggy from the morphine. (ed - thank god for travel insurance)

A decent 5cm of extra snow meant some good carving on the slopes whilst the beginners practised staying upright on the flat with hilarious stacks. Everyone was loving the bright blue skies and sunny conditions. It took Stu White only 1 day to get a fully fledged goggle tan.

Disco made sure the video camera was out at every opportunity and created some jumps and kickers to make sure everyone was caught falling on their ass.

Sunday night a pub crawl through the village with a free shot at each bar and cheap drinks made for another raucous night.

Monday Mastermind with Treggas Trivia had a slow start but with the addition halfway through of prizes of free jugs of beer for correct answers the punters livened up like a drunken Bay 13 in the final over of a one dayer.

The Tuesday Tug of War was fiercely contested on the snow over a massive puddle of slush. The afternoon progressed into Tight Ass Tuesday with cheaper drinks, the discovery of frozen margaritas and the raunchy dancing of Nat Scarmazzino on the bar.

The 70’s Skifest Ball will go down as the most debaucherous night in Fanatics history. Everyone got in to the spirit with fantastic costumes, wigs and dodgy porn moustaches. Highlights were the one piece Elvis suit of Aaron Jobbings and 70’s frilled shirts of Barnesy, Mini-Me and Gents.

The packed Yeti Bar raised the volume another few notches with the Pash4Cash competition. The early rounds threw up some interesting combinations (including an all male Kiwi combination), disappointing favourites and surprising duos

Renee “Renegade” Gore-Brown and John “Yun” Barnett headed into the final as clear favourites but were outclassed by the raunchy pairings of Jamie & Angela and Shayne & Kim Roos.

It was a difficult decision for the judges especially with Jamie & Angela’s creative use of a fire extinguisher but Kim Roos just managed to edge victory. An encore performance by the winner involved licking shooters off breasts and more thrusting of the hips justified the judges decision.

For some the passion continued up into the room with an incredible amount of room swapping and bed hopping. Many punters were locked out of their rooms but fortunately Bar Barnesy was open and serving the usual abundance of toxic shooters, albeit with an unconscious Mini-Me.

The event everyone had been talking about and building up all week was the TNT's DASH4CASH The tension on the start line was incredible as everyone contemplated the massive stakes for winning - £1,000 and bragging rights. A gentleman’s agreement of putting £200 behind the bar by the winner was agreed by all.

The snowboarders had a 10m head start but were soon caught by the dynamic Aaron McLeod on skis who opened up a mammoth lead on the rest of the field. Matt “Wilko” Wilkinson caught him quickly running up the steep hill in snowboarding boots.

Aaron and Wilko both struggled to climb the ice wall. Pat Kearins arrived in third place but was so knackered he could only watch. Eventually Aaron climbed it and ran stiaght past the beanie holding the cash where it was claimed by Wilko who was hot on his trail.

It was a fairy tale finish for a man who broke a ski the day before and tried snowboarding that morning. Wilko would need the money later on the trip after losing his digital camera in the snow.

The final night was one of fine French cuisine and of course more drinking.

A final day’s skiing was followed by a huge clean up of the apartments and inspection. Surprisingly no one lost their deposits. Then everyone was loaded onto the buses for the marathon journey back to London. This time via Italy!

The reunion was held 2 weeks later at the Shepherd’s Bush Walkabout to reminisce about all the fantastic times. A good attendance allowed a few cold ones to build on new friendships. The following awards were given:

2005 Skifest Awards

The Coveted BOT (Best on Tour): Natalie Sarmazzino

Best Cameo: Nathan Theos

Best 70’s Skifest Ball Costume: Mike “Con the Fruiterer” Gentile

SES Emergency Services Award: Pat “Dose” Kearins

Best Rookie Performance: Angela Hauber

Durex Award (for continually going at it like rabbits despite the continual interruptions): Peter “George” Hart & Kirsty Greenhough

Greg Evans Perfect Match Award: Renee “Renegade” Gore-Brown & John “Yun”Barnett

Royal Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons Award (for ending up in a knee brace and needing a knee reconstruction at a later date): Rachel Service

Houdini Award: Scott Hastie