Lost in Africa

The Farce Begins…

I was originally asked to write a blog for the Fanatics during the Football World Cup but that never came about. I thought my time to write for this site was over until I recently received an email saying áve another go. Since the World Cup is over for four more years, and as I’m currently in Kenya for this year and far from much of the current mainstream sporting world, I asked what they’d like me to write about.

“Anything”, they said..

Hmm, very dangerous giving me the freedom to write about anything. Opinionated, stubborn, verbal diarrhoea… not sure if giving me freedom to write about “anything” will lead to something entertaining or simply something good for starting arguments or eliciting abuse from the readers. Well, if you’re reading this first post of mine, and decide to come back for more, then I guess we’ll find out!

So as I mentioned, I’m in Kenya at the moment, and for the rest of 2006 at least (for more info on this, visit www.nakedchronicles.com). So how does Kenya fit into the sporting “world”? Well, we’ve just had Bernard Lama, the former French goalkeeper, quit after 45 days as Kenyan head coach due to the Kenyan Football Federation (KFF) not deeming it a priority to actually write up a contract for him. Yep, he was here without any kind of written document outlining either his responsibilities or his rumination. I guess I would probably have done the same thing.

This is the same KFF that runs a “professional” league that only last week declared the winner of the 2005/2006 season, some two months after the season officially ended. I use the term “officially” very loosely, as in Kenya the only thing official is that corruption is rampant within in most government associated organisations and bodies, and that incompetence is no barrier to holding a position of power so long as you come from the right tribe and have a substantial amount of money (hey, sounds very similar to the Liberal Party in Australia!). While the season supposedly finished two months ago, we’ve had court cases and appeals and counter appeals about some of the penalties issues by the KFF for such things as referees being attacked, teams forfeiting games, and players being suspended for not actually being registered with the club their playing for.

So now, apart from last season’s winners only just being announced a week before this season kicks off, we also have the KFF at loggerheads with the KPL (Kenyan Premier League Limited, a body set up by the clubs to try to bring some order into Kenyan football) about which teams are actually supposed to be playing in the Premier League, with conflicting views as to which four teams have actually been relegated.

Actually, I’ve just solved the problem of how I’m going to keep this blog interesting and amusing: simply cut and paste various stories from the local newspapers about the ongoing controversies, farces, results and announcements within the Kenyan sporting sphere. There’s enough material to keep me going for years!

Anyway, at an attempt to utilise the interactive nature of this online medium we’re using, why don’t I kick off by asking you (yes, you, whoever has inadvertently wandered onto this page and read this far – you masochist!) for your farcical sporting stories/anecdotes. I am sure there are more than a few out there, so let’s see what we can uncover.

Oh, and before I say so long for the week, just wanted to say: R.I.P. Brocky and Steve Irwin. What is it about Aussie icons this week? Who’s next? Dame Edna? Rolf? I think we’re all secretly hoping it will be Germaine Greer, twisted bitter woman. I reckon she’s just not getting enough! (Oops, that one will start some arguments!)

Until next week, lala salama (“Good night” in Swahili).
Dave (an Aussie in Kenya)