Ashes 06/07: ...........PLAY !!! - Web Blog - Fanatics - the world's biggest events

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Ashes 06/07: ...........PLAY !!!

Just a couple of days to go until the first test and anticipation for the first ball is growing as quickly as Madonna’s family.

England faltered against a Prime ministers’ XI in their first tour match because they simply couldn’t be bothered. Plus the last few times we have won the series in Aus, we managed to lose all of the warm- up games.

The plus points were Steve Harmison landing a ball on the cut strip and Andrew Strauss finding a new fag. Frederick Flintoff put in an appearance with the ball, don’t worry Gilchrist, he hasn’t warmed up properly yet, hope you’ve worked out how to play his bowling.

The negative point being Chris Read being dropped in favour of Geraint Jones due to Reads’ inability to satisfy coach Fletchers’ carnal desires.

Next came the match against New South Wales and Harmison furthered his ability to land on the cut strip and managed to get 3 wickets, KP got a hundred and a smashing time was had by all.

In the last warm up match, England started to tick over, with all of the batsmen having reached at least 50 on the tour. And the bowlers are doing o.k. too.

Australia seem to have picked up some injuries just in time for the Ashes with Shane Watson (all-rounder? ha!) and Damien Martyn facing fitness tests. If only you guys could see your way to loosing the comparative players we have (e.g. Ponting and Lee?) but hey.

Monty Panesar was picked out for some racial abuse, dubbed “a stupid Indian” by some Neanderthals in the crowd, but the best quote has to come from whoever it was who said it wasn’t particularly racist. Let’s look up racism in the dictionary shall we…yes it is racist.

So not long to go now, lets hope it’s played in similar spirit to 2005 and hope the best team win, and if they don’t, fear not, I will be hear to provide some excellent excuses for some collapses, drops and wayward bowling.


Liam Plunkett – Fast Bowler

Bowls at 85 MPH but is distinctively more accurate than Mahmood.
Nicknamed Pudsey, after a blind teddy bear

Monty Panesar – Slow Left arm

The best finger spinner in the world according to many.
Similar to Phil Tufnell; Can’t bat, can’t field but he boy can he bowl, and stay sober.
So accomplished is his bowling, he managed to make Inzamam Ul Haq fall on his stumps in sheer awe. His first test wickets included Sachin Tendulkar, Younis Khan and Sanath Jayasuriya. He even got wickets at Headingly.

Alistair Cook - Top order batsman

“The Chef” as he is hilariously known by Essex team mates played against Australia on the 2005 ashes tour and only managed to score a double hundred! Prone to get dismissed lbw, because his head is so big it falls to the off-side. Sang in a cathedral choir until his balls dropped, which he drove through the covers for 4.
Tue 21/11/2006 Chris Clarke 790 views

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